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Thursday, 13 September 2007

Trusting someone

"The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust." from Henry L. Stimson.

All my life, I never have problems in trusting somebody. Maybe because I know anybody can trust me too. I'm always been so honest to my friends and my family about my whole life. All my ups and downs, my shortcomings and unwise decisions I shared to them, its because after I poured them all out, I gained peace of mind and gained back my self- confidence. I'm also flattered because my friends trusted me too. I'm happy when I was able to help them in my own ways.
Had I not trusted my family and my friends advices I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be a happy person. I wouldn't be guided with my decisions. I could say that I owe most of my triumph from the guidance and criticism from the people who love me.
I was wondering though, it must the difference in the culture or it's just the personality. I've been here in the states three years already, most of my friends are Filipinos. I've been blessed because they treat me like a family. I have a quite a few non-Filipino friends, they're nice to me and they enjoy my company. But I had this confusing experience with one of my hubby's relative, recently she's been telling Lee about me being depressed, having postpartum depression etc..I was surprised because she never ask me about this, she could have confronted me. We're good friends actually. She's my family here. It's sad she acted like this. Since I thought she can be trusted I shared to her my childhood years, how brat I was, the silly things I've done, stupid things that I made. I didn't realized she took this seriously and start making judgment against me, questioning my personality. Good thing that everything that I told her my hubby knew all about it already, he even laugh about, besides that was just part of me being a brat that I throw stuff when I got mad, when I tear some one's picture because I was pissed off, stuff which I know shouldn't been done.Part of my craziness before I got married. But hey I'm not crazy he he.

So yeah, I learned my lesson, now that I'm here in this foreign land I have to be careful with my actions, no temper tantrums in public which I haven't done here yet, done in the Phil., well just a typical malditang Gingin(me) accdg. to my mom. But here if I do that, maybe some would questioned already. Kahadlok no.

I'm still thankful because there's something good that happen from what that woman did. It teach me to be aware of my actions, never be childish anymore, maybe sometimes because hubby thinks it's cute he he. And most of all, she knew that she upset me so she can't come here in my house anymore, can't borrow my stuff, and definitely can't drop her kids and have me babysit them, I know it's mean but I can't trust her anymore. My hubby instructed her not to go near me, so that's good, I feel safer.

Still, I trust my family and friends through the years completely, for some reason I just felt it that they're real.

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