Joke time

I'm thankful with my friend Noreen because of her forwarded messages that just make me laugh. I printed some of of them, and decided to save some here in my 'lil abode.


1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND;
> > > He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
> > > She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
> > >
> > > He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
> > > She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
> > >
> > > He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
> > > She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
> > >
> > > He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
> > > She said . . .. I would but you're never there.
> > >
> > > He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
> > > She said . . They don't have time
> > >
> > > He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
> > > She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
> > >
> > > He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
> > > She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.
> > >
> > > She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
> > > He said . . . A widow.
> > >
> > > He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
> > > She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.